I went to my daughter's school for a parent meeting.The teacher shook my hand and said, "You are an amazing father."I said, "No no no no no."Five nos. I counted later.She smiled and said, "Really. She talks about you every day."I said, "No, she is amazing. Not me. I am nothing. I am just a father. Please. No."I was sweating. In America. In November. In a classroom.The teacher looked at me the way you look at a dog who is scared of a vacuum cleaner.She said, "Okay… well… she's doing great."I said, "Thank you. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry."I bowed. In a chair. To an American woman. Who was already looking at her next parent.In the car, my daughter buckled her seatbelt and said,"Papa. Why did you say no five times?"I opened my mouth.Nothing came out.Because the real answer was:In Japan, when someone praises you, you must push it away. If you accept it, you are arrogant. If you deny it once, you are humble. If you deny it five times, you are a good Japanese man.My father denied every compliment for 70 years.His father denied every compliment for 80 years.I was raised by a line of men who could not say thank you.I looked at my daughter in the rearview mirror.She was 7. She was waiting.I said,"Because Papa is stupid. From today, Papa will say thank you."She said, "Okay!" and went back to her iPad.Like it was nothing.Like changing 300 years of samurai DNA takes 4 seconds when your daughter asks.That night I called my father.I said, "Otousan. You were an amazing father."He said, "No no no no no."I said, "Yes. Five times yes. I am your son. I know."He was quiet for a long time.Then he said, "…arigatou na."First time in 40 years.My daughter taught me in the car.I taught my father on the phone.America just held the door open.