My office invited me to a "white elephant gift exchange."The rule: silly gifts, under twenty dollars.I understood only this:A white elephant was required.I could not acquire an elephant.So I carved one.From a block of oak.Forty hours.Two weeks of evenings.Six inches tall and, I will say it, magnificent.At the party, my gift was opened last.The room went quiet.Someone said, "Wait, that's actually... really nice?"Then the stealing began.In this game, gifts can be stolen.My elephant was stolen eleven times.The limit was reached.People argued.A vice president was involved.The woman who won it put it on her desk.The next year, she brought it back to the exchange.It was stolen eleven times again.It has been seven years.The elephant returns every December.It is the only gift anyone wants.There is a waiting list for the party now.People transfer departments to attend.They call it The Elephant.It has outlasted three office managers and one merger.I spent forty hours on a twenty-dollar gift.Math says I lost.The Elephant disagrees.