Summer 2026 field reports · Vol. 2: The Many Who Caught Me
The Sacred Rituals
I called a recommended electrician and he did not answer.
I called again the next day. He did not answer.
I mentioned this to the man who gave me the number, apologetically, assuming the man had died.
He said, "Oh yeah, he's terrible with the phone."
Then he said, "He's great though."
Terrible with the phone. Great though.
I asked how I am supposed to reach a man who does not answer his phone.
He said, "Just keep calling. He'll pick up eventually."
I called eleven times over six days. I left three messages of increasing formality. The third one was, I now realize, addressed to a dead man.
On day seven he answered and said, "Yeah?"
No apology. No acknowledgment of eleven calls. He answered as though we were mid-conversation.
I have since learned the rule, and the rule is upsetting.
The good ones do not answer.
The ones who answer immediately, who have a scheduling system, who send a confirmation text, who arrive in a branded vehicle within twenty-four hours, are the ones you should be afraid of.
Availability is the warning sign.
A man who can come tomorrow is a man with nothing to do tomorrow.
I said this out loud to an American and he nodded like I had recited scripture.
He said, "My guy took nine days to call me back. Best tile guy in the state."
Nine days. He said it with pride. He was bragging. He was bragging about being ignored.
I asked the electrician why he does not answer.
He said, "I'm in an attic."
That is the whole answer. He is in an attic. He is in an attic every day. The phone is in the truck and the truck is in the driveway and he is in the attic.
He said, "If I answered the phone I'd be a guy who answers phones."
He fixed my problem in thirty minutes and did not charge me for the trip.
I have his number. He will not answer it.
That is how I know it is a good number.
How long did your best guy take to call you back. Post the number of days. I want to see the correlation.